Do you feel disappointed because you love your partner but you still have many painful conflicts(internal and external?)


How many of us have heard that before (I have, countless times, especially from my mother)?

Being a hopeless romantic, loving romantic movies and not to forget my high school days of indulging in ‘mils and boon’ novels. I would like to believe I was in love with the idea of love and not love itself…like many of us here (wink, wink);

I believed that if a couple loved each other nothing could come between them. I believed love conquers all …but I was wrong after witnessing many breakups including mine. I was in a relationship for over a year -It had its ups and downs like any other relationship and we were so much in love that We planned the future and things were perfect until something in me changed.

I went from being happy to be frustrated.

My mom did not approve of my boyfriend then, which got to me bad, I mean who doesn’t want a blessing from no one else but your best friend and parent.

Also loving a man with vision and not just potential killed it. A man who knows where he is going and where he wants to be -pursuing those dreams bit by bit no matter what. My boyfriend seemed to have given up on his dreams, letting circumstances get to him that he accepted anything that came his way. I got more and more frustrated by just thinking about it that I flushed all the dreams and plans we had down the drain. I would discuss this with him but nothing seemed to change. I was not at peace with myself since then. I loved this man but   I began thinking of the future – ‘’if there are no improvements now what more in the future-we can’t survive on promises and love ‘’…I thought. ‘’Those two won’t put food on the table’’ and that was the end.

Am sure you get my point now ..The fact that many couples that break up still love each other is proof that surely ‘LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH’ .

Love is just the pillar you build a relationship on.


So, from my past experience I realized some factors that can lead to break ups and can perhaps serve as guidelines of areas you need to be on the lookout for:

  • Your visions and dreams are literally ‘CAT’ &’DOG’.

When these two are pointing at opposite directions instead of complimenting each other …then am sorry, it means separation.


  • Different morals,values,goals,beliefs.

            These are important things to know before you commit to marriage.


  • Parents could get in the way.

 It’s hard to fight the parental force once it gets a hold of you.


  • Uncertainty of the future.

This is the area I think man need to step up. As women we tend to think about the future more than the present.


  • Outgrowing each other.

 People who grow together stay together. You are bound to experience troubles when because one chooses to focus on their growth, while the other remains stagnant. As a result, you will find yourselves  in two different places, and you will  no longer be compatible.


  • Lack of knowledge of self ,opposite sex, love etc -Take a look at Stephen’s blog post .I have written two statements of his to get this point.


‘’I didn’t realise that in my relationship I have a very specific role to play as the man of the house. I didn’t realise my role was to be the protector, not just physically, but emotionally too.’’ -Stephen Hedger

‘’Then I realised that if I wanted an amazing relationship not only would I have to learn how to protect my partner physically and emotionally, but I would have to create a new and better me to be able to do that job.’’-Stephen Hedge MUST READ

dedix :




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